there came a point at which i was just done.

i was done.

for so long it’d always seemed worth it. even if i couldn’t explain what exactly was worth anything, i felt it. down in my soul, in the depths of my very being, i had to have him, be his. sure, after some fights i’d yell that i was finished with it; nod in agreement with everyone that told me i was better off.

then…i’d go back. i’d follow my heart. or perhaps it’s better to say that i’d return to my heart, because it never left him. no matter how he treated it: if he stamped on it or stabbed it or squeezed every drop from it, it was his. 

eventually though, there was nothing left for me. my skin didn’t shiver against his fingertips. the thought of him in love or inside of someone else didn’t upset me.

what did it take? my friends ask. i don’t know. i don’t know what happened. it’s not that i realized that i deserved better: i was well aware of that, long prior. and i loved myself, i know i did - i don’t feel any differently about who or what i am now than i did back then. i just…i loved him.

i was in love with him. 

and then one day i wasn’t. and it was the best day of my life. 

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    FUCKING LOVE THIS GIRL!!!!!
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    yep….that happened.
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    like it’s author...somehow wiggled into...morning a few...
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